NEW YORK – Monica Lewinsky, former White House intern, whose namecirculated the American media 20 years ago when her sexual relationshipwith former President Bill Clinton became public, wrote in a new essay forVanity Fair, saying the #MeToo movement has made her ponder over her affairwith Clinton.

*She wonders whether it was consensual at all..*

“I now see how problematic it was that the two of us even got to a placewhere there was a question of consent,” Lewinsky wrote. “Instead, the roadthat led there was littered with inappropriate abuse of authority, station,and privilege. (Full stop).”

*Here’s the thing:*

Four years ago, in another Vanity Fair essay, Lewinsky wrote that heraffair with Clinton *had* been consensual. (“Sure, my boss took advantageof me, but I will always remain firm on this point: it was a consensualrelationship. Any ‘abuse’ came in the aftermath, when I was made ascapegoat in order to protect his powerful position,” she wrote then). Butnow, she says that the #MeToo movement has changed her perspective on thisaffair.

She argued that because she was a 22-year-old White House intern andClinton was one of the most powerful men in the world at the time, “theidea of consent might well be rendered moot.”

“Now, at 44, I’m beginning (just beginning) to consider the implications ofthe power differentials that were so vast between a president and a WhiteHouse intern,” she wrote, calling the relationship “a gross abuse ofpower.” “I’m beginning to entertain the notion that in such a circumstancethe idea of consent might well be rendered moot.”

Lewinsky revealed that she was suffering from post-traumatic stressdisorder (PTSD) as a result of the affair and everything that happened backthen. She said that if the affair had happened today, she would have feltless isolated than she did 20 years ago – because of the growing chorus ofwomen who are speaking about their own experiences with abuse as part ofthe #MeToo movement.

“By and large I had been alone. So. Very. Alone. Publicly Alone — abandonedmost of all by the key figure in the crisis, who actually knew me well andintimately,” she wrote. “That I had made mistakes, on that we can allagree. But swimming in that sea of Aloneness was terrifying.”